Issue Vol.1.

MessMindOfADreamer by moytun

'I had a dream...'

     Once Baron Pierre de Coubertin, the founder of the Olympic games, told that ‘I had a dream’.

     When I was a kid, I used to have a dream too, just like we all do… By the time I realized I grew up,  -supposedly- matured, I have lost my faith in these dreams, in which they become nothing rather than a dream. As far as I took nothing granted for my own sake.

     We all have some issues to work through on our own, whose priorities’ changes person to person. Like I do… I had really hard times lately, the times that I thought I could never get over. Yeah! I might be in this war, still, but the only thing that I know is, for sure, the dreams, that I had when I was a kid, are no longer be mine in which it dragged me or us into this situation. When did we give up on our dreams? When did we give up being us, being ourselves? When was the last time you realize that you compromised yourself?

Have you ever considered the reasons why you are joyless lately? Why could not you be happy?

     Let me tell you.

     Whenever you gave up dreaming, you gave up your own happiness, too.

     You gave up your amazing dreams, that you have imagined when you were a kid, just because you couldn’t become a grown up kid, or, you are fooled to be believed through somebody else’s eyes –consciously or not- that they are right because of you give up being you, being yourself.

     When I was a kid, I used to have my own dreams. I had my things that I like to do, like; my stage, my acting and singing performances; even, getting naked with the polka-dot underwear in front of the audiences, performing ‘The Emperor’s New Clothes’ without being ashamed. I used to like hearing those applauses, singing, dancing...

     Yeah! I did them all at the time that seem too far from now. But, what comes next? Why did I give up on my stage? Why did I leave all behind just because I feel unsuccessful even the others thought that I am capable? When did I become such ordinary, insecure boy?

I never thought that I am good enough to succeed to put a good show like others. I always thought that there is another way to be ‘better’, that I cannot.  Always better. Go one better. I never took heed on others words, why would I now? I did everything with my own eagerness and my own instincts; especially with my own desires. Because of this, I have never pinned ones opinion on their sleeves. They could not keep me on their own line. The game was simple though. What do you want? If I was such good and talented, why cannot I now? After all this time off that I gave to myself in 5 years, it came up to my mind occasionally. But now? Why now?

     The answer is too easy.

     

I remember I desisted from my dreams, the things that I want to do; I realize that I have taken heed of people that I should not have. That’s why I had become a Muppet; I was made to become a Muppet...

     Do not ever give up chasing your dreams and living in your own dreamland!

     Because they are the only unique warriors of your life that leads you to the happiness, called miracles.

     Could we recover from the effects of a war without our dreams?

     When was the last time you feel like laughing as hell, as if you were a kid?

     Or

     The last time you wear whatever you want to without being under someone’s pressure?

     What about the last time you cast a spell ‘I love you’ on someone you truly love with the fear of losing him/her?

     The last time you did something nutty?

     When was the time you left the things, seem impossible, behind without even trying?

     The achievements that are obtained without any struggle are not worth gaining.

     When I was a kid, I had another dream, too. Earning a great income. Who would not want to earn a lot though…  but there was a difference in my wish. Just like Robin Hood. I do not only want to spend my earnings on my own, or, for myself, but also, multiply it with sharing. Because, ‘money’ is not as important for me.

     Existing…

     I always thought sharing my earnings like; ‘having enough money for myself to survive and sharing the rest with serving a purpose, such as donating or using on a free loan to the people who are needy; for people, for humanity.’

     But, what happened when we grow up?

     What happened to those innocent, childish dreams of us like a candle, which fades away even in the tiny whiff, before you even realize what’s going on?

     When we were in university, most of us raised as if we all suppose to find a good job, gaining great amount of earnings, do not we?

But, what does ‘money’ means in this universe? What if you have money for only to survive and chasing your desires, not chasing money, for yourself, for making yourself to be happy… Would not be the things around you become nicer? If every human on this planet would have chased their dreams, cannot be they become more happy, or healthy, indeed?

     Just like John Lennon said…

     ‘Imagine’

     As long as you imagine you exist.

     As long as you exist, you will be happy.

     Maybe this was the only truth of your artificial existence that you can ever imagine. Be honest, do tell what you want to say, share your dreams.

     Do not afraid.

     Because the only reality in your artificial existing is you, yourself. No matters what. You are also aware of this but, maybe, you are just too coward to confess this. That’s why you should express your opinions independently. Maybe they do stare and make fun of your thoughts, your dreams… but, is it only because that they are superior (?) to you; or, they are just too coward to even dream?

Dreaming is not a crime. Funny? Not at all, because you are your dreams, they are the only key for your happily ever existence. The rest is non-sense if you are happy.  Let them make fun of your dreams, your desires. You should make fun of yourself even harder. Because, maybe you will never reach at your dreams even how hard you tried, but do you feel regret just because you have tried?

     Do you feel unhappy just because you have tried?

     Would it be better to disappoint yourself without even trying or trying?

     Nope, just try. Push yourself harder.

     Fail, roll in the deep, try again, fail again, again, again… Do not give up easily. If you could not succeed than make fun of yourself. Dream another’. Try again. Do whatever makes you happy and go for it, fight for it. What in the world is better than the smile that your dreams put on your face, the excitement of achieving them creates?

     Even if you fail, don’t you feel happier than now?

     Life is not always about being successful or winning.

     Sometimes it is about losing the war, accepting to be defeated. Does any of the human being can be happy even he/she was defeated? Why not… You can be happy for the others’ victories’ as well.

     Do not be an egoist, be yourself, your own self.

     Be yourself, if not, be happy for the others. Because it worth.

     Now, close your eyes, open up some music, which calms you, and start thinking… ‘What was my dreams when I was a kid? Who I wanted to be, what I wanted to become, what I wanted to do?’

     Or

     ‘What was the reasons why I was happy when I was a kid?’

     ‘What made me happy?’

     If you cannot satisfy with the less, don’t expect more.

     I have thought and decided to pursuit of the happiness, dreams.

     That’s why you are reading this editorial.

     I am taking a big step through a journey of myself that I forgot.

     I am having a new start with you guys.

     During this beginning I am going to introduce few people that have decided to go on their dreams that inspired me.

     I hope they will lighten you, guide you and show you the way to be happy.

     I hope you will recognize what is important to you, too.

     And become happy.

     Furthermore, there will be a little bit of fashion, music, art, design; and most importantly, life, existence…

     Whatever we lived and we are going to live…

     Don’t forget to take your baby steps through your dreams because they are the bravest ones on happiness.

     Now, put your feet up and take that first step…

     Welcome;)

StyleLooks by Tomboy'Journal

PowerofCentralSaintMartins by DML

ArtistDiariesVol.1. by moytun

KeepInspiredVol.1. by moytun

FashionIssuesVol.1. by moytun

PortraitDiariesVol.1. by moytun

MusicOfTheMonth by SIM

'I had a dream'

Bir keresinde 'I had a dream' demis modern olimpiyat oyunlarinin kurucusu Baron Pierre de Coubertin. 

Kucukken benimde hayallerim vardi sizler gibi... Buyudukce -sozde- olgunlastikca inancimi yitirdigim, artik hayal olmaktan cikip birer hic olan. Hic oldugunu varsaydigim.

Hepimizin bas etmeye calistigi turlu turlu problemleri vardir hayatta, onceligi kisiden kisiye degisen. Benim icin de... Cok zorlu bir donem gecirdim kendimce; kolay kolay asamayacagimi dusundugum. Evet, hala o durumla savas halinde olabilirim ama bildigim bir sey varsa o da kucukken kurdugum hayallerin artik elimde olmamasiydi belki de beni, bizi bu duruma surukleyen. Ne zaman hayallerimizden vazgectik? Ne zaman biz olmaktan, ben olmaktan vazgectik? Kendinizden ne kadar cok odun verdiginizin en son ne zaman farkina vardiniz? 

Peki ya mutsuz olma sebeplerinizi hic dusundunuz mu? Neden mutlu olamadiginizi? 

Cevabi ben soyleyeyim. 

Hayallerinizden vazgectiginizde mutlulugunuzdan vazgectiniz.


Kucuk bir cocukken kurdugunuz o mukemmel hayallerinizden buyuk bir cocuk olamadiginiz icin vazgecip, baskalarinin sizi -bilincli ya da bilinc disi- yonlendirdigi dogrultuda, daha dogru olabilecegine inanmayi sectiginiz (ya da inandirildiginiz) bambaska hayaller yuzunden. Kendiniz olmayi; benliginizi biraktiginizdan itibaren. 


Kucukken benim hayallerim vardi. Yapmayi sevdigim isler vardi, sahnem vardi, performanslarim vardi, muzik vardi, hatta utanmadan puantiyeli bir donla cirilciplak sahneye cikip 'KRAL CIPLAK' dolasmak vardi. O alkislari duymak vardi, sarki soylemek vardi, dans etmek vardi... 
Evet, bunlarin hepsini simdi cok uzak gelen o zaman dilimi icerisindeyken yapmistim. Peki, simdi elimde ne kaldi? Tiyatrodan, sahneden vazgecmeyi neden sectim? Herkesin basarili oldugumu soyledigi, beni takdir ettigi bir seyden neden kendimi basarisiz hissettigim icin vazgectim? Neden kendine guvensiz, asagilik biri oldum?

Ben kendimi hic bir zaman iyi gormedim, yeterli gormedim bir seyleri basarabilecegine/basardigina inanan digerleri gibi. Hep (daha) iyi olmak icin bir yol oldugunu dusundum, benim olamayacagim. Hep iyisi, daha iyisi. Insanlarin sozlerine o zaman da kulak asmazdim, simdi neden asacaktim ki? Ben ne yaptiysam ic gudulerimle, isteklerimle; ozellikle kendi isteklerimle, yaptim her seyi. Istemediklerimi ise yapmadim. Yaptiramadilar. Oyun bu kadar basitti aslinda. Neyi istiyorsun? Madem o kadar iyi ve yetenekliydim, simdi neden olamayacaktim? Kisiligime, benligime verdigim 5 yillik aradan sonra hic aklimdan cikmayan bu tutku donem donem kendini yenilerdi. Ya simdi? Neden simdi? 

Cevabi cok basit. 

Hayallerimden vazgectigimi hatirladim, yapmak istediklerimi yapmadigimi, baskalarinin sozlerini dinledigimi, kukla oldugumu; oldurulmaya calisildigimi...

Hayallerinizi kovalamaktan, onlarin pesinden gitmekten asla vazgecmeyin!


Cunku onlar bizi mutluluga ulastiracak yegane seylerdir hayatta, mucize denen... 

Hayallerimiz olmadan nefes alabilir miydik? 

En son ne zaman cocuksu kahkahalarinizi attiniz doya doya icinizden geldigi gibi? 

ya da 

En son ne zaman ozgurce giyindiniz mahalle baskisi olmadan? 

Peki ya en son ne zaman sevgilinize ya da hoslandiginiz birisine hissederek,kaybetmekten korkarak seni seviyorum dediniz? 

En son ne zaman bir cilginlik yaptiniz? 

Ne zaman 'en' olmayacagini dusundugunuz, size imkansiz gelen seyleri 'nasilsa olmaz' diyip ugruna caba bile harcamadan biraktiniz?

Ugruna caba harcanmamis kazanimlar, kazanim degildir.

Ben kucukken bir hayalim daha vardi. Cok iyi bir gelire sahip olmak. Bunu kim istemezdi ki zaten... ama benim istegimin bir farki vardi. Robin Hood misali. Sahip oldugum kazanci, kendi basima, kendim icin car cur edip, yiyip bitirmek degil, paylasarak cogalmak. Cunku onemli olan para degildi benim icin. 

Hayat... 

Elimdeki parayi hep paylasmayi hayal etmistim; 'Kendime yetecek kadar param olsun, gerisini faydali olabilecegim bir sekilde gerek bagislarla, gerek yardimlarla, insanlar icin; insanlik adina kullanabileyim; ihtiyaci olanlara verebileyim. Onlarinda kendilerine yetecek kadar kazanclari olsun.' isterdim. 

Peki buyuyunce ne oldu? 

O cocuksu masum hayallerimiz ufacik bir esintide dahi sonen mum isigi gibi ansizin; siz ne oldugunu anlamadan sonmedi mi? 

Ozellikle universitedeyken hepiniz is bulabilmek, iyi paralar kazanabilmek amaciyla yetistirilmedik mi? Yetistirilmiyor muyuz?

Peki para gercekte ne demekti ki su hayatta? Kendine yetecek kadar paran olsa, isteklerinin pesinden kossan, para icin degil de kendin icin, mutlu olmak icin bir seyler yapsan... Her sey daha guzel olmaz miydi? Herkes hayallerinin pesinden gitse daha mutlu, daha saglikli bir toplum olmaz miydik?

Tipki John Lennon'un dedigi gibi... 

'Imagine'

Cunku hayal ettikce varsiniz. 

Cunku hayal ettikce mutlusunuz.

Yasadiginiz, tahmin bile edemediginiz bu sahte hayatin icinde belki de tek gercekliktir. Durust olun, soyleyeceginiz ne varsa soyleyin, hayallerinizi paylasin. 

Korkmayin. 

Cunku bu icinde yasadiginiz sahte dunyadaki tek gercek ve gerceklik kendinizsiniz. Bunun sizde farkindasiniz ama itiraf dahi edemeyecek kadar korkaksinizdir belki. O yuzden ozgurce dusuncelerinizi soylemeli, anlatmalisiniz. Belki hayalleriniz karsisinda gulup alay ederler sizinle... Peki, bu onlarin hayallerinin sizinkilerden daha iyi, daha yuce(?) oldugundan midir; yoksa, kendisinin hayal bile kuramayacak kadar korkak olmasindan midir karsinizdakinin? 

Hayal kurmak suc degildir. Komik? Hic degildir cunku siz hayallerinizle mutlu olursunuz. Siz mutluysaniz da gerisinin bir onemi yoktur. Birakin hayallerinizle gulup dalga gecsinler. Siz de gulun. Hem belki hayallerinize hic bir zaman kavusamazsiniz her ne kadar cabalasanizda; ama denediginiz icin pisman olur musunuz ki? 

Cabaladiginiz icin mutsuz olur musunuz ki? 

Cabalayipta hayal kirikligi yasamaktansa hic bir sey yapmadan hayal kirikligi icerisine hapsolmak daha mi cazip? 

Yoo, deneyin, cabalayin.

Cuvallayin, en dibe batin, tekrar deneyin, tekrar yikilin, tekrar, tekrar... Kolay pes etmeyin. Olmuyorsa siz de KENDINIZE gulun. Baska hayaller kurun. Yine deneyin. Sizi ne mutlu edecekse onun ugruna savasin. Cunku kurdugunuz hayallerin yuzunuze yerlestirdigi o tebessumden, onu basarmanin yarattigi heyecan ve sevincten daha guzel ne var; ne olabilir ki? 

Basaramasaniz bile su an ki halinizden daha mutlu olmayacak misiniz?

Hayat, her zaman basarili olmakla, kazanmakla ilgili degildir. 

Bazen yenilmek, yenilgileri kabul etmekle ilgilidir. Insan yenildigi zaman da mutlu olabilir mi? Neden olmasindi ki... Baskalarinin galibiyetlerine de mutlu olabilir insanoglu. 

Ben derken bencil degil, benlik olmak lazim. 

Kendiniz icin; olmuyorsa baskalari icin mutlu olun. Cunku buna deger.

Simdi gozlerinizi kapatin, muziginizi acin ve dusunun... 'Benim cocukken hayallerim neydi? Kim olmayi, ne olmayi istiyordum, ne yapmak istiyordum?' 

ya da 

'Ben kucukken ne yapiyordum da mutluydum?'

'Beni neler mutlu ediyordu?'

Az ile yetinemiyorsan, fazlasini bekleme. 

Ben dusundum ve hayallerimin pesinden gitmeye karar verdim. 

Bu nedenden dolayi yeni blogumun acilis gonderisini okudunuz.

Unuttugum benligime donmenin bir yolculugu olarak adimimi atiyorum buraya. 

Yeni bir baslangic yapiyorum sizlerle birlikte...

Bu baslangic icerisinde sizleri bana ilham veren, hayallerinin pesinden gitmeye karar vermis olan kisilerle tanistiracagim zaman icerisinde.

Umarim sizlere de isiklarindan bir tutam sunarlar ve yol gosterirler.

Umarim sizlerde neyin onemli oldugunu yeniden hatirlarsiniz.

Mutlu olursunuz.

Bunun disinda da biraz moda, biraz muzik, biraz sanat, biraz tasarim; en onemlisi, hayat...

Yasadigimiz ve yasayacagimiz ne varsa...

Unutmayin, hayaller mutluluk yolundaki en minik; ama en cesur adimlardir.

Simdi ayaginizi kaldirin ve o adimi atin...

Hosgeldiniz:)